


Outside

by What_we_are



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Fishing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-09-30 09:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17221217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_we_are/pseuds/What_we_are
Summary: Mike takes Jesse fishing.





	Outside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chzu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chzu/gifts).



> Beta read by the wonderful Porkchop_Sandwiches.

They were in a boat on Conchas Lake. The water was calm and the shore was far away. A couple of shrubs growing between the rocks of the shoreline were almost big enough to pass for trees. Mostly the landscape was brown. As Jesse looked down at the blue lake his vision alternated between being able to see into it, and only being able to see his own reflection. When he saw into the depths, it was just light through water, no fish, no plants, and no bottom. 

It was sunny and hot, so he had his shirt off. 

“You’re gonna get sunburned,” Mike said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. After you burn once, you build up a tolerance for the rest of the summer.”

“Where do you hear this stuff?”

“It’s common knowledge,” Jesse said. “You think we should start now? I bumped the boat, like, at least, twenty minutes ago. The fish shouldn’t still be spooked.” 

Jesse was very careful not to touch his paddle, lest it make another knocking noise against the aluminum canoe and scare the fish again. 

Mike said, “Sure, we can cast out here. The bait’s in with the sandwiches.”

Jesse reached in the cooler and got out the lidded styrofoam cup that looked like it would contain hot and sour soup. He opened it and was surprised. He’d seen worms before, of course, but a night crawler was a different animal altogether. They were longer and fatter, wiggling all over each other in their carton. 

Mike said, “Okay. You want me to go first, or you’ve got the gist of it?”

“I got it. The bobber’s already on there. So, I just put a worm on the hook and drop it in the water?”

“Cast it out a ways from the boat so the fish won’t see our shadow, but yeah, that’s it.”

“Cool.”

The night crawler bled a little when Jesse skewered it with a fishing hook. He wasn’t really bothered by it, but he kind of wished they’d gotten plastic lures instead. 

“You gotta go through him twice, so the fish can’t just bite him off of there and swim away without getting hooked,” Mike advised from across the canoe. He’d turned around on his seat so they were facing each other with the gear, snacks, cooler, and life jackets piled between them. 

Jesse went through the night crawler again with the hook. 

“Will you cast for me? I’m scared I’m gonna pierce my own ear with this thing.”

“Sure.”

Jesse carefully passed the rod to Mike. 

Mike cast beautifully, landing the bobber out far from the boat. 

“If you see your bobber moving, you have to jerk the line back to set the hook. Then, you reel it in slow and steady.” 

Jesse nodded as he took the pole from Mike’s hands. 

Then came the waiting. 

After a few minutes, Mike asked, “Is that a dragon on your chest?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“What does it mean?”

Jesse shrugged. “It means I looked in the tattoo sample book and thought it looked cool. This scorpion on my hand, though, is supposed to protect me from evil. And the skull on my back is a reminder of death. It’s all one thing: being alive, being dead.”

“Is that so?” 

“You got any tattoos?”

“Nope.”

“You gonna get any?”

Mike smiled. “No.”

Jesse smiled too. 

The water was still. Super still. Jesse held his rod dutifully, but nothing was happening. 

“It might be like this for the whole day,” Mike said. “Sometimes they’re just not biting.”

After a while, Jesse said, “You were in Vietnam.” 

“I was.”

“Is that where you first killed people?”

“I was eighteen, so yeah. Why?”

“Just wondering. Does it get easier? Not killing people, but, like, living with yourself.”

“What’s going on, kid?”

Jesse shook his head. “Nothing. Just nightmares. It’s all about the first one. The second one doesn’t bother me as much.”

“That was a hard thing.” Mike seemed to be thinking on it, but then he suggested, “You should drink some more water and put on more sunblock.”

Jesse held his fishing pole between his thighs while he reached to the middle of the canoe for sunscreen. He covered himself with it as well as he could. Then he drank a whole bottle of water. 

“Yo, aren’t you supposed to have beer when you’re fishing?”

“I didn’t want to mess with your sobriety.”

“I can do beer.”

“Next time, then.” Mike gently got back to the topic, “You did what you thought you had to do for your partner. Think of it like war. You were protecting the man in the foxhole next to you.”

“Yeah, but the other guy didn’t even know he was in a war. He thought everything was cool.” Jesse thought for a few minutes then asked, “Do you dream about Vietnam?”

“I never remember my dreams.”

“Never?”

“Nope.”

“I remember mine and they repeat.”

Mike set his rod down and reached for a ziplock bag in between them. “I made cookies with Kaylee. M&M. You want one?” 

Jesse reached out and took one. It was soft and good. Something about being out in nature made everything taste better. He couldn’t wait to smoke. 

Mike said, “I’m sorry about the dreams. Maybe if you write them down it will help.”

“I don’t think keeping a diary is gonna help.”

Mike swallowed his bite of cookie. “I write things down and burn them. Confessions, I guess you’d call them. Not confessions. Observations. You’ve gotta observe your emotions like they’re outside of you. I write down ‘I feel like shit about this or that.’ Then I burn it.”

“Like what?”

“Like Drew Sharp.”

“Then you burn it?”

“Yeah.”

Mike seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so Jesse just looked out at his bobber and was quiet. 

“Things okay with Andrea?” Mike asked out of the blue. 

“Yeah. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her and Brock. Things are good.”

“You should marry her.”

“Woah. Okay.”

“I’m serious. The best thing I ever did was have a family. And then having a granddaughter has just been. . . It gives meaning to everything. Having kids makes you care about the world more, which can hurt, but it also makes you see all the good things. And it makes you feel like a man. I don’t mean in a macho, providing way, although there’s that. I mean, having children makes you realize how good you can be.”

Jesse nodded. “I feel that way with Brock. If I really were a fuck-up, I wouldn’t be able to take care of him and make him food and tuck him in and everything.”

“You’re not a fuck-up. That’s Walter talking.”

“I’m not talking about Mr. White with you right now.”

“I just want you to realize that he’s wrong when he underestimates you.”

Jesse’s bobber moved. 

Mike said calmly, “Set the hook and reel her in.”

Jesse yanked on the rod and started turning the little crank of the reel. There was quite a bit of pull back. 

“Easy does it,” Mike advised. 

Jesse kept reeling steadily, but the tension went out of the line. When he brought the hook up out of the water most of the night crawler was gone. 

“Good thing we brought sandwiches as a back-up.” Mike smiled at his own joke. “You want me to cast for you again?”

“In a minute. You mind if I smoke?”

Mike shook his head. 

Jesse lit up. He took a long drag and exhaled. 

Mike said, “I just need you to understand that ‘Mr. White’ has been working you.”

“I know, but that’s not the whole story. He’s saved my life. And him counting on me has made me stronger. We were fifty/fifty partners for a long time before you showed up. You don’t get it.”

Mike looked sad. “No, I don’t. I just want to see you happy and I’m not so sure that can happen while you’re working with us. I need to stay in to make my guys whole, and he needs to stay in ‘cause he’s power hungry, but you could walk. You should walk.”

“Apparently fishing is about getting all up in each other’s business, huh?”

“It’s been known to happen.”

**Author's Note:**

> Pretend that months passed between the train job and the Declan deal. This fishing trip would take place right before Mike thinks to make the deal. Not as good as canon, but I need a Jesse that's not coming right off of seeing Drew Sharp murdered.


End file.
